Surprises, Disappointments, and Irritations -- Oh, My!

I haven't written in around six weeks. I seem to go in cycles of when I feel like writing and when I don't. Let's see, what's happened in all that time?

Susan, Heather, and I drove down to San Antonio (in my car) and attended an SCA event, a fiber arts college which consisted of a whole day of classes related to fiber arts, spinning, weaving, identifying fabric, various types of embroidery (I would go blind if I actually attempted blackwork.), and nalbinding, a type of fingerknitting. We agreed that we were old since in our youth, a road trip would end up with us blued, screwed, and tattooed, drunk off our asses in Tiajuana, or at the very least, in jail somewhere for some sort of socially unacceptable behavior.

Herbie had the gang all over to dinner one night to drop her bomb -- she, Dave, and kids are selling everything and moving to Argentina for a year. Because they want to. Dave said it's more socially acceptable there to be a slacker, and all he wants to do is read a paper, drink coffee in a café, and hit the beach. Their house has been on the market for almost a month now, and their tickets are for August 22nd. Susan and I are already taking bets on how long this venture will actually last. Neither of us see it actually lasting a full year.

Logan really pulled a boner. He pissed me off earlier this month by changing his plans from going camping for a couple of days (I grant him there was no where in Texas to camp that wasn't soggy or actually underwater due to some far-reaching flooding.) and instead, hopping a C-130 to Hawaii, which meant that I ended up having to use vacation days I hadn't planned on using to watch the kids and keep them from killing each other over who gets to be on the computer. Logan stayed in Hawaii a couple of days and discovered that he couldn't get back. It turns out that disabled vets aren't supposed to have "space available" flight benefits. NOW you tell me! So he had to wait for a couple of days more to get a commercial flight back which he could actually afford. Luckily, it was only $27 a night to stay on the base near Waikiki.

While he was still over there, we spoke on the phone a couple of times, and once, before we knew he doesn't really have space A benefits, I asked him if he was prepared to pay for me to fly commercial anytime he takes the kids somewhere. [You see, he never claimed me when he filed for his disabled veteran benefits. He claimed the kids, but not me. That means he and the kids get insurance, can go on base to the BX, the movies ($3 each), the pool ($1 each), and soon, the commisary, plus he can rent a cabin or tent space or marina slip at any of the bases, whether they are Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines, anywhere in the country and some places overseas. But I can't. If he would claim me as a common-law spouse, then I could.] He said, "we'll have to see what we can do about that", which gave me cause to hope that he would finally claim me to the VA.

Monday, when I got to work, there was an email reminding me that it was Summer Enrollment time, meaning it was time to make my insurance and other benefit decisions for the upcoming fiscal year, which starts September 1st. So I called Logan to discuss the issue with him, and reminded him about what he had said. He got very testy on the issue, and told me he didn't see what good it would do me for him to claim me.

I explained that besides all the obvious benefits, one of the added benefits of having ChampVA insurance is that it would cover all my co-pays since I have BCBS of TX, plus -- I would be able to have lap-band surgery. This is my main goal.

Logan asked how it would benefit him. I guess he's just too dumb to realize that it would save me money (no co-pays), I'd get a small monthly stipend, and being able to have the surgery could possibly add years to my life. He argued and fought with me over this. He thinks I have some ulterior motive, like taking the house away from him and putting him out on the street. His paranoia really kicks in hard from time to time, and because he's twice-divorced and the divorces both came from out of the blue, blind-siding him, he is unreasonable about this issue.

So I started researching the issue, printing out things to back up my assertions as to what benefits I'd get, and in doing so, I discovered that I can file a claim myself, above his objections.

So that's what I'm going to do. After 16 years of letting Logan call the shots in our relationship, I've decided to make some decisions on my own, without consulting him. There are two of us in this relationship, I am tired of not having a vote. We're supposed to be a partnership, not a monarchy. And if I don't get a vote, I'm staging a coup.