Party Party

Yesterday was Beth's 27th birthday. Lordy, that makes me feel old. I was going to meet up with her for dinner at P.F. Chang's, but called with my regrets in the early afternoon. I had been to see my new dentist, and was suffering the effects of having a temporary crown installed and an allergy attack. I must be allergic to my dentist because almost from the very moment I laid back in the chair, my eyes began to water, my nose got runny, and I started sneezing repeatedly - 5, 6, 7 sneezes in succession every fifteen minutes or so. I barely made it through work without giving up and going home.

Once work was over, I hightailed it to the pharmacy to get my prescription for pain meds filled, went home, changed into my pajamas, and medicated myself. Logan made me some glorious homemade chicken noodle soup, rich and savory with lots of rosemary and sage. I napped a little, woke up in time to watch CSI New York, the news, and part of Letterman. I felt much better when I woke up this morning.

Sunday was a good day. I had planned on meeting Beth and Eric for brunch at Hedary's, but she never showed. So Eric and I had a leisurely meal, laughed our heads off, and smiled when we said the same thing at the same time. We know each other so well. I told him when we're both old and gray, like, say, in our 70's, that we should get married so that we can take care of each other. We spent the day driving around looking at potential sites for Eric to open shop. He needs a warehouse type space big enough for a studio, living area, and office type area where he can meet with clients. It sounds like his business is starting to pick up, and like he will actually be able to buy or rent a place sometime in the next six months.

As usual, we ended up the evening at the Shamrock, but Matt wasn't in, so we didn't stay too terribly long. We both had to get up early Monday, so I was home by 9 p.m. which is really early for spending a night out with Eric.

Saturday night was the "I Survived the Holidays" party, which included lots of food and drink, a bawdy bardic, and a re-gifting gift exchange of gifts deemed too ugly, weird, or rude to keep. I ended up with a box full of strange things - an old Polaroid camera, some 3.5" x 5" floppy disks including early versions of DOS, Windows, and an "adult" computer game (EGA!) called Land of Lust. I so need to put an old floppy drive in the computer so that I can play this game!! Also included in the box was a smiley face alarm clock (a reproduction, not an original, dammit), a training hand grenade, and three bottles of homemade blueberry wine. Crystal, a friend of mine who used to work up here at UNTHSC and who cleans my house from time to time (when I can afford to have her over), wound up with a box of disposable gloves and a bottle of Astro-Glide personal lubricant. I've missed hanging out with some of the SCA folks. LOL

My revised device

I rarely attend any functions of the SCA ( http://www.sca.org ) anymore, but time was running out for me to resubmit my device for acceptance by the heraldry department, often referred to as Laurel or Kingdom Laurel. So I made the changes they requested, and here is the revised device I'm submitting:

The heraldic description is "argent, two goblets vert in a bordure vert, semy-de-lys argent". The device represents hospitality (a cup for me and a cup for you) and my persona's French background (well, Norman, anyway), but it's also poking fun at myself, as I have what Logan calls "vast tracts o' land" (large breasts), and have been known to tipple a cup or two.

And the winner is...

Well, the ballots are in, the votes are tabulated, and the results are: no breast cancer (just a possible congested milk sinus, re-evaluate in 6 months), but a uterine fibroid the size of a Volkswagen. The bleeding (literally!) thing is 6 cm. CM, not mm!! That's three inches or thereabouts! So I had an IUD inserted [fun way to spend an afternoon, considering the fact that the doctor pulled my cervix down since it tends to crawl away when touched and squeezed it with a tenaculum (anything with this definition ought to be consigned to the toolbox of a dominatrix: n. A forceps with jaws ending in sharp inward-pointing hooks.), then shoved a foreign body up into my uterus.] If the IUD (which releases a tiny amount of progesterone each day) doesn't control the heavy bleeding, then the fibroid will likely be removed arthroscopically. If that doesn't work, then I'll probably have an ablation (cauterization) of the lining of the uterus. If THAT doesn't work, then it could be a hysterectomy. But my doctor said we want to avoid that at all costs, hence the barrage of other treatments first. Now, for my bowel habits!!

Seriously, learning I did not have breast cancer was a huge relief. I cannot convey the feeling I had upon learning that other than to say it felt like a cement skin I was wearing suddenly shattered, freeing me to walk about normally rather than weighed down by the burden the worry was causing me. Susan and I celebrated by having a couple of doubles at the Shamrock, then I went home, picked up the kids (Logan was in pain, and wanted to watch TV.), and went out for dinner to celebrate some more. The kids and I also stopped off at Half-Price Books where Brighid exchanged the full-screen version of one of the Star Wars movies she got recently for the wide-screen version, Weyland got some computer game based on Norse mythology, and I got a book to give Logan for Valentine's Day: Medieval Hunting - The Hound and The Hawk. All and all, a very satisfactory evening.

Now that my health scare is behind me (for now at least, don't wanna tempt the gods by saying forever), I'm going to concentrate upon getting things lined up so I can go back to school. I will forever be a drone unless I can get a degree and make myself more valuable by learning new skills. I don't make New Year's resolutions, but that would be a good one if I did.

Say WHAT?!?

To keep my mind from worrying since it's another 2.5 hours until I go see the doctor and find out the results of my mammogram, I thought I'd write about my tendency to be hard of hearing (or have selective hearing as Logan believes).

There is a commercial for some medication (I've never paid attention well enough to hear the brand name.) which starts out with someone saying, "my asthma...". I always hear "miasma" instead.

In the song More Than A Woman by the Bee Gees, it always sounds like they're saying "bald-headed woman" to me. Then there are the songs that are "filked" on purpose. Jerry, my daughter Beth's biological father, used to sing "pussy on a highway" instead of "put me on a highway", "take it to my bedroom" instead of "take it to the limit", and when they sang, "and show me a sign", he'd flip the bird to the radio. Childish, yes, but really, really funny when you've been toking a joint.

Apparently, I'm not alone in mis-hearing things. There are a few websites out there dedicated to this phenomenon:

http://www.amiright.com/misheard/artist/springsteenbruce.shtml http://www.sandiegoscene.com/ezine/articles/rice.htm

There's even a discussion about this topic on one of my favorite reference sites, Mudcat.org:

http://www.mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=5803

I wasn't aware there was a word for these types of occurrences, "Mondegreens". I did know about Malapropisms, which I find amusing. But I like puns, so it's not a stretch.

Send me your mis-heard song lyrics: janesitton@earthlink.net

Now, back to work.

#1 on the charts the day you were born

http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/member/birthdayno1.php

Have fun. Mine is "House of the Rising Sun" by The Animals. I prefer the version sung by Joan Baez.

Results Redux

I diagnose myself with worry warts. I had another mammogram today, and the doctor didn't like the way the films looked, so I had to have an ultrasound. The technician just said, "hmm", and sent me on my way, saying the results would be sent to my doctor, Dr. Hantes, and that I should get something in the mail from Consultants in Radiology. How comforting. The last thing I got in the mail from them said there were "findings" which started what will probably turn into an ulcer. Two days seems an interminable amount of time to wait when they already know the results, but just won't tell me yet.



More news at 10:00 p.m.

WD-40??

Still worried about not getting my test results, and upon advice from various sage personages, I called my doctor's office again and proceeded to... well, not harangue the office staff per se, but argued my plight. I really shouldn't have to wait two weeks to know if I have cancer or not, should I?? So the squeaky wheel got oiled. First, they found another doctor to sign off on the results. They called me back and just said to get another test done. I worried about that all last night and called again today, saying I wanted someone to read or fax the report to me. So the nurse agreed to read it to me. Here's the synopsis:

asymmetric density of the left breast with no spiculation, calcification, or thickening of the skin - advise retest to determine cause of density

It could still be cancer, but it's now less likely. I'm marginally relieved. But I still won't know for certain until the 11th.

My appointment on the 11th was originally to have an IUD inserted to treat menorrhagia and hypermenorrhea (either annoying enough in its own right), but I suppose it will also cover the results of the upcoming mammogram. All this poking and prodding, squeezing, and mashing is becoming tiresome. If reincarnation is true, I'm coming back as a man next time.

Logan just called to tell me his results. His bone scan revealed that his white count is elevated, which means he has some sort of infection in his bone. The doctor said he will either need a total knee replacement or an amputation. More doctors have been called in to consult. Logan will of course get a second opinion if an amputation is recommended, but opined as how he'd like to have a red macaw and an earring if they do cut off his left leg at the knee.

Happy news, yes?

I did have a happy time Sunday evening. "The Gals" and I got together at Shellie's house, which was just lovely with cute and unique Christmas decorations. The table was elegant, and the food, cooked by Herbie, Susan, Heather, and Mrs. Smith, was delicious. Shellie made a nice salad, and I was lazy and bought a pie. I woke up with my back in a misery after sharing my bed with Eric, and I just never got up and around good in time to bake a pie. I made one last weekend when we had originally planned to have our Christmas party, but were thwarted by an attack of the wrathful plumbing gods. Shellie and Herbie had plumbing problems, and Brighid managed to pull the bibcock off the wall of the house in the backyard as well. Not that we could have had the party at my house -- the kitchen is mostly clean, but the rest of the hovel looks as if a bomb made of laundry and legos has exploded. I suppose it's just as well, since Logan was laid up in bed with a pillow under his knee, and the kids were firmly ensconced in front of the computers, dreaming up new ways to torture their families in The Sims.

Speaking of games, I'm off to play a round of spades before lunch is over.

Happy F*%#ing New Year

Or so my eldest daughter, Beth, said, in a text message sent to me early yesterday morning. I was at the Shamrock, drinking with Eric. We had just gotten back from seeing Brokeback Mountain. It was a tale of misery, for sure. I just wanted to slap everyone involved, and yell at them, "get on with it or get over it." Of course, being gay in the late 60's and early 70's in Montana and Texas was different (though not much depending upon distance from an urban setting), but gawd! There sure is enough misery to go around in the world.

Logan had phoned just before Beth, on her way to drunk (her words), sent me the lovely greeting. I thought it was so sweet for him to call me at midnight to wish me Happy New Year. He was at home, minding die Kinder. He let them stay up til midnight, then sent them off to bed. When I got home from the bar, he was still awake. Eric spent the night (in my bed) since his mom didn't want him driving with all the drunks and cops out. So Logan (playing Age of Empires 3), Eric, and I drank some more. Eric opened a couple of bottles of a heavy red wine which I had trouble drinking. The acidity was pretty high, and I had already had three rum & Cokes (doubles at that!), so I wasn't really in a mood to drink anyway.

I needed something to help me relax, though, since I've been worried about my test results -- or lack thereof. I had a mammogram done on the 27th, and got a letter back the next day from the radiologist saying I needed further tests. My doctor is on vacation until the 11th, but I went ahead and scheduled another mammogram for the 9th. What a wonderful way to start the new year.